Happy Anniversary from Across the Big Pond!

Happy 4th Anniversary My Love!

Yesterday I enjoyed my anniversary gift ... my husband treated me to a spa day. Here's the story ...

At 9 a.m. a stretched while limo pulled up in front of my father-in-law's house. After a short ride i arrived at the day spa. After my initial consulation, and changing into a robe, the fun began.

First there was a seaweed wrap ... there are a few times when being covered in green goo is actually relaxing, this was one of those times.

After a relazing warm shower to remove all of the mud, i was treated to a full body massage, after Wednesday's activiites, it was much needed, but that story is another post.

Then came lunch. I had chicken salad on cresent roll with ceasar salad catered from Le Madeline in Houston. It was served in this tiny little lavender alcove, with a natural wood table and candles. It was closed off by a sheer curtains. Absolutely wonderful.

After lunch came the facial ... they kept saying I had good hair and my skin was quite healty, but I really don't put much work into anything other than my hair. But I digress ... so I had a facial ... first she put some citrus smelling stuff on and put me under a steamer. Then she massaged my face and neck and put a mask on. Afterwards, she finished with a cooling cream moisturizer ... absolute heaven.

Next came the pedicure and manicure, which was just as wonderful. I talked the George through most of it, but it was fun and i got a beautiful ruby read polish which is different from my usual princess pinks. I even got timy little flowers on my toes!

Last was my favorite part ... hair cut and color. I absolutely loved the hair dresser and wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home but the end of the day. I got carmel highlights in my hair, which I'd had a few years ago and George loved. then a trim and style and I was almost done.

I got my make up done just as the limo showed up to take me to Gordon and Mindy, George's childhood friend and his fiance for dinner. We went to Benihana (Yummy!) and I ended to day catching up with them and drinking mojitos. Definately an amazing day!

Until our next cup of tea ...




Editor's Note: Photo added after initial post. It was taken at the end of the spa day.

I'm trying a new approach ...

Have you ever hurt someone you really cared for out of fear? Well I feel like crap because I did. Not to go into all the details, but sometimes it's easier for me to lash out at those close to me when I get scared of losing control and the closer you are the harder and faster I attack. I feel so bad ... I hope I haven't messed things up. I take total responcibility for my actions, but I don't know what to do. I guess I'll have to take baby steps and humbly ask for forgiveness ... UGH! It is so much easier to run away, but I must be a big girl about it!

Thank you anonymous poster …

Two months ago I wrote a post entitled “If it weren’t for war …” In it, I express what I have learned and gained as the spouse of an American Soldier. I’ve gotten continued comments and emails on the post, which was written in a brief reflective period during this deployment. Most have said how they found it inspiring or hoped that when it came time for one of their loved ones to deploy that they would find the same strength and courage to see the brighter side of things. I’m not a leader or inspiration, I merely write what I feel and hope that others give pause to consider.

Today, I received a comment regarding that post that made me feel even more assured of what I’ve chosen for my life’s journey:

“It's so beautiful that so many Iraqis and Americans had to die in a war based on lies in order for your life to feel slightly less boring.” – Anonymous

Now I have been encourage to delete the comment by a few friends and colleagues. I could have deleted it or merely ignored it, but since it’s my blog, I’ve decided to tell you what I think …

First, let me say “Thank You” for taking the time to post. It wasn’t the newest post or even at the top of the page, so you either ventured here from someone else’s page or took the time to scroll though my page. I’m sure there were other things you could have been doing.

Secondly, thank you for expressing your thoughts and views. While I don’t agree with you, it makes me happy to see that people are using the freedoms that our forefathers gave their lives to garner for us and that those who follow in their footsteps like my husband and so many of the people who are in my life strive to protect, even at the possible cost of their own life.

Third, I think you slightly misunderstood my intent. I do not say I support war … as the spouse of an American Soldier I am the last person who wants to send the love of her life to fight, but I do support our troops. Mistake aside, as it is a common misconception, war has been an integral of America’s history. Not just wars, but those who protest them. There’s no need for a history lesson, but our forefather’s fought for our freedom just as our Soldiers do for the Iraqi people. No one was more patriotic than on Sept. 11, 2001, but now, nearly six years later, the actions of our commander-in-chief have divided the country. However, we must remember that our right to speak of our beliefs and convictions was granted to us by war … wars that people supported and opposed.

I am happy to see people embrace the freedoms that make our nation great. It shows that our troops fight for the interest of all Americans, not just those in power or leadership. That freedom is further supported by the turnouts of this election year.

Freedom is a gift … a gift gained at an immeasurable price. Again, thank you for leaving a comment that will give others a cause to reflect on what they stand for and what they believe in. I’m not sure this is the response you had hoped to achieve, but it is the response that my long time readers will know to expect. The sacrifice that my Family makes is dedicated to those like yourself who chose to use their freedoms, regardless of the manner in which you do so.

Until our next cup of tea …



"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G. K. Chesterton.

Another life lesson ...

Deployments are hard … for everyone involved. Things change, friends you used to hang out with as a couple now seem awkward when you become a “third wheel.” You deepen some friendships, drift away from others and build new ones.

For both the Soldiers and spouses your needs for companionship change. Some people become more dependent on those around them, while others become more independent.

In previous deployments I have always been the one that others came to for support. It was a role I appreciated because as long as I was taking care of others, I didn’t have to remember that I too was dealing with the separation. If I fixed other people’s problems, then I could avoid mine. It worked … until this deployment.
More so than the fact that I am learning to lean on my friends for strength, is finding them in the most unlikely places.

Now that I work with the Soldiers on a daily basis, I’ve come to regard many of them as friends. The same goes for the spouses in our deployed unit. On one hand, it’s is easier to be friends with spouses in the same unit because you are going through the same things, other times having friends who understand what you are going though because they have been there, but can offer you the support you need because they are in a place to provide that can make it easier as well. This is a lesson I have learned only recently though my work with the military police.

While I still maintain friendships with the spouses in my husband’s unit, sometimes it feels like a competition when you start talking about how often you talk to your Soldier and how many emails you get, etc. I’m kind of enjoying the fact that I can vent or brag without someone “outdoing” my stories.

I’m the first to say that I live the life of a clown … always trying to make others happy but never showing my own tears. ,I love to help others enjoy the little moments, temporarily forgetting the bad. But I rarely let people see the real me … hear my darkest secrets, see the silly, uninhibited me. I don’t let people see me with my guard down. I’ve seen many temporary friendships, close while they are here, but fall apart after they move. To avoid the pain, I only show them parts of me and until lately that was o.k.

But in the last few months, I’ve met two people who are breaking through that shell … I don’t know if that is good or bad or if it just plain scares the mess out of me!

One is a fellow spouse … she very much reminds me of myself seven years ago. New to the military, learning to stand on my own and the heart of a small town country girl … everything new and exciting. I see the world in a new way. Through her ups and downs, I find more about who I am and what I stand for.

The other is a Soldier … I think this one scares me the most. Our friendship is at best, indescribable. There is no mold or characterization to contain it, it evolves as time goes on. There are things about her that are like looking at myself in a mirror, we have so many of the same interests, finish each others sentences and can laugh at everything and nothing. She is genuinely interested in how George is doing and how I am with this deployment as I am in her significant other and the distance and difficulties they face because of military. Our friendship grows over culinary creations and quick emails. But there are things about her that I strive to one day see in myself …her loyalty, adaptability, drive to overcome and confidence are inspirational.

In each deployment I open myself to learn more about myself and life. It is an opportunity to test myself, grow as a person and grow in my search for independence and self improvement. If I learn nothing more, I am learning that by taking a risk, you may find a treasure that can change your life, one that cannot be measured, and one that cannot be replaced. I have found that I am discovering myself in discovering others. I’ll just have to sit back, enjoy the ride and see where this one takes me … they could be a moment in time or that one great friendship of a lifetime.

Until our next cup of tea …

Family is not just blood relation ...

The hardest part of deployments for me is not having the support of my Family like I thought I would. I know if hard for them to understand what is going on, and in their defense they have busy lives of their own to keep up with, but sometimes it would be nice to have a phone call asking how I am doing.
In recent weeks, I’ve talked to (or attempted to talk to) three different members of my Family. The conversation was good when we were talking about their lives, but when I brought up George and/or the deployment, suddenly they had something to do or in the case of one, they were slightly distracted by their dog begging for attention, I guess.
For the longest time, I thought the estranged relationship with my Family was unique to me. I followed the visitation rules of Santa, once a year. But the more people I talk about it with, the more I realize that’s just how life in the Army is.
Civilians don’t understand what we are going though. The service members in my Family all served before marrying, so they don’t have that experience to reflect upon.
They all have their own lives and when we visit, their world doesn’t stop, so if they have to cut a visit short because they had a shopping trip planned with co-workers, then the visit ends. We go back to where we are staying a entertain ourselves. Amazingly, these trips are as much about getting stuff we need and can’t find in our middle-of-nowhere location on post. It’s kind of like the Wild West, where we go into town to get supplies and “see the town folk.”
I will admit that it does bother me, especially when I see the Family making plans without me. Yesterday, I found out they were planning a 50th birthday party for my mother. No one bothered to call me, especially since I only live three hours away, but my brother told me yesterday and I told him I was coming the weekend before since I had school that weekend.
“When did you start school?,” he asked.
“Serious, Mark,” I replied. “I started my master’s two years ago at LSU. This is my last class to graduate.”
“Oh, I guess I don’t remember you talking about it,” he answered back.
Well, what did I expect? I can honestly say that with 12 siblings, a variety of biological, half- and step-siblings, I never really felt like I connected with any of them. We have a very take-it or leave-it relationship. My parents too. I could go months without talking to them. Does it bother me, yes. But there were times when I used to call and they were always busy, so I stopped making an effort and they didn’t notice.
It’s like I explained to a close friend yesterday (who by the way, I can’t go a day without talking to or my world falls apart!)
I grew up in a large Family, the fourth and oldest girl, to be exact. There was always someone who needed my parents more than I did, so I learned at an early age to rely on myself. When we were homeschooled, I finished two years in a semester because books were my escape. Unless I was bleeding and dying or it was my turn to do dishes, no one bothered me. I was able to sit in my closet (my “safe place” as a child) and do hours of school work or reading books. I saw the world through the pages of those books. I conquered kingdoms, attended royal balls and (my favorite) hosted elaborate parties where I was the center of attention.
Some of my friends thought it was sad, the lack of relationship I had with my Family, but I didn’t miss it because I didn’t really have it. Now, the ultimate punishment would be to take my books away, but my step-mother never really figured that one out. I rarely got in trouble, but when I did I was sent to my room, where I spent days reading.
I’ve come to realize that strength and independence gained from a military life comes from so many different aspects. In addition, for everything bad there is something good. The friendships that I’ve gained far outweigh what I feel I lacked in my Family relationships. Sure, goodbyes are hard, and there will be many of them. But as Roxie, on Army Wives said, “Everyone has two families. One you are born with and one you choose. I choose all of you. Thank you for being my family."
Until our next cup of tea …