April 23, 2010

Mommy Needs a Timeout!

I love my husband, I love my baby, I love my dog, I love my home and I love my military families, but sometimes, I just need a break! I've spent the last 5-plus married years going 90 miles-a-minute because I always thought, I'll take a break when I need one ... and many times though I juggled a full-time job, part-time masters program, maintaining a home and taking care of the families of my husband's Soldiers, I didn't really need one. An hour here and there working on some stitching project or reading a "non-homework-assigned" book and I was ready to hit the ground running, but now that Baby George is here and every minute of my time mst be accounted for, I feel like I am being pulled in a million directions like a rag-doll whose fate is left in the hands of a schoolyard bully.

I try to take an hour to stitch and relax after I put the baby to bed, but then hubby inadvertently makes me feel guilty by saying he was waiting for me, or bottles must be washed for the next day and then more often than not I find that the dog has taken my place in bed and I am resigned to sleeping on a sliver of bed until he gets tired of me pushing against him.

All day long the baby wants to be held or fed, the puppy wants attention to to go out, hubby wants dinner or ... well "other" things, the dishes have to be done, the floor mopped, laundry washed and folded and if I get a cup of coffee finished by noon I am freaking exstatic! I buy the instant cappicino so I can make a quick cup but still feel like I'm getting a "treat". I need Calgon to take me away!

I spent all day last Saturday cleaning out the office/craft room so I could have a place to get away and hopefully look into some freelance writing, but after it was all said and done, there are three huge (36-inches tall) boxes with hubby's stuff that sits in front of the closet that just irritate me and since his unit is moving buildings in two months or so, all of his "professional" gears (books and stuff) are taking up all the space on the bookshelf and my books (dear sweet treasures of escape) are piled on a side table one small nudge away from clammoring all over the floor. Sadly, it just irritates me to go in the room because all of my "working" craft projects are piled on a (smaller) side table on the other side of the desk, where they are being rotated around as I try to organize them into some sort of system. Oh, my poor projects, sadly neglected. If only I could clone myself so that I could spend more time nestled under the soft cotten fabrics of half sewn quilts, gaze upon the bright colors of partially embroidered linens, and sift through the glittery stickers and roughly textured paper of my scrapbook pages.

If I had a fairy godmother, I wouldn't ask for a beautiful gown and glass slippers so I could attend the ball, I'd only ask for time to stand still so I could parade about my in my pajamas and peruse my treasured books or lazily stitch something pretty and pink!

Until our next cup of tea ...

7 Tea Party Guest:

ABW said...

Hang in there, it will eventually get better, but by then you forget about it and have another one and another one....oh wait, that was me!

I'd ask my fairy godmother for a mute button on everyone.

Marjorie (Molly) Smith said...

It does feel overwhelming sometimes, but hang in there it will get better. Now I remember why I had at least 5 yrs between my first 2 and 12 between the last 2. Once you get use to having the little one around and get your priorities organized it WILL get better.
Hope you get some reason soon.

lime said...

this is such a common state of affairs as the adjustment to life with a baby is made. it's a difficult time even though it's joyful. a bit of communication and a bit of patience...

Sue said...

You are being pulled in a million directions at the same time, but soon you will know which limits to set - like the SGT Major and the bed issue, for instance. You need a good night's sleep to get through your day. Can you possibly take a nap when Jamie does? If a load of laundry doesn't get folded, it will still be there when you wake up. Let the puppy know he can sleep on the bed, but take your nap in your own spot and let him sleep elsewhere on the bed and you'll both be happy. Naps are good - better than trying to get everything done when you are running on empty.
It's overwhelming - and sometimes you need to comprimise for your own sake.
Prayers for you my friend.

Elissa said...

Hang in there sweetie! It will get easier. And I think you HAVE to schedule some Mommy time very soon. Try sitting down with George and finding a Saturday that he can take Jamie for, and you can have some much needed time to stitch or read. Actually write it on the calender! Then it will happen :)

Cheryl said...

It really does get easier. The first 2 or 3 months i could never see how i would get some time to myself ever again. But it does eventually happen and now the little one sleeps 7-7 and my evenings are my "me" time. Hang in there!!

trooppetrie said...

when you find out how to clone yourself will you please let me know. i want several clones of myself