I’m not qualified to serve coffee …

It’s no laughing matter … though many of the Soldiers at the MP unit where I work seem to think so.

I got a call today from one of the Major’s spouses in my husband’s unit. The Battalion commander is leaving and we are having a farewell for the commander’s wife. I assured her I would be there as well as what dishes I would be bringing. She then began talking about those who would be there and who wouldn’t be. Now, both of these Major’s wives as well as the commander’s wife are ladies I feel comfortable talking to. We’ve shared a lot of laughs over the past two years, especially in the recent deployment.

Though I am not the “class clown” I am know for making people at ease with my antidote stories and comical remarks … though for the life of me I don’t know why people find me amusing.

So as we talked, she told me that she had enough spouses to serve tea but not punch, so I offered to help. It seemed logical enough. However, she said I was a Captain’s wife and therefore was suppose to serve tea …

“What! I joked, "I can only serve based on my husband’s rank?”

“Oh, yes,” she replied laughing and then set out to explain.

At a tea and coffee social service is according to seniority. I think it’s because like in a tea party, being allowed to serve is deemed an honor.

The rank order goes coffee, then tea, then punch. Depending on the level of function is who is allowed to “pour”. So at a battalion level the Lieutenant Colonel’s wife is the guest of honor, along with her special guests. So then the Majors’ wives pour the coffee, and Captains’ wives pour the tea. The punch is poured by the First Sergeant’s wives. But the dilemma was that none of the First Sergeant’s wives were attending.

“Where do you learn all of this? Is there a book, or it is like parenting and you just make it up?” I exclaimed.

“Oh, when your husband gets promoted you get various books,” she explained, still laughing at my astonishment (and probably my parental reference since we don’t have children yet and I’ve joked about that a time or two with her.)

“You mean I have to study to be an Officer’s wife? More than for my master’s?” I joked.

She laughed some more … I really think she has the greatest laugh. She reminds me of my aunt Laura who is very prime and proper and whom I strive to be like, but I digress.

After a few minutes of assuring here that I was not a drink snob, nor would I be offended if I were to pour the punch, I verified when I needed to arrive and bid her farewell.

Still thinking it was the funniest thing, I sat down and talked it over with the MP’s Rear Detachment Sergeant Major (we share and office), who hadn’t heard about it. Goodness, who knew.

Here I am, an avid collector of teacups and quite fascinated with the customs and traditions of both tea and military having done a bit of research, but now I find that I've bearly started. I am anxious to see what other customs and courtesies I will uncover in the next few years. Hopefully, until then, I won’t mess up too bad!

Until our next cup of tea …




*** Editor’s note: Since my husband is in an infantry unit, which is strictly male Soldiers I can say wives, but the “proper” term is spouses as well do have male spouses in the Army.

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