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November 2, 2012

My heart is broken and empty ...

It is with deep sadness that I write this post, and can only imagine how much time and strength it will take me to get through it.

Yesterday, at 4:50 p.m. our dear, sweet, loving Sgt. Major retired from duties as the Homefront Guardian and transition to the side of Grandpa George. Whether it is coincidence or divine intervention that the anniversary of their passing is merely days from each other, I can only speculate.

He was loved immensely by George and I, and later Baby Jamie, but no one could have loved him more or spoil him as much as Grandpa George.

He was by my side through every deployment. I never had to sleep alone. He was a lover and a cuddler. And if you'd ask him, everyone who came to visit us, came to see him.

I will miss my first baby so much, and the pain of his loss, mixes with the guilt of not being able to fix his pain any other way. He lived life to the fullest, and taught me how to love unconditionally. My heart will always have a missing piece, but having these past 8 years with him have given me memories that I will treasure for a lifetime.

My heart hurts because George was not here to say goodby. As I sat there in the room, and held him in those last moments, I told him over and over that Daddy wanted to be there. He fought like a champ, we never knew until that last day that his poor body had been fighting so much cancer. In the end, I had to put aside my pain and help my baby end his. He made us proud every day of his life and his presence made us better.

I will miss him so much ...







Rest in peace my dear baby. Mommy loves you ...

4 Tea Party Guest:

lime said...

what a good and loving boy. i'm sorry for your loss. RIP sgt. major.

jenicini said...

Tears. :( I hope he is somewhere chasing bunnies and getting lots of cuddles from Grampa. (hugs)

ancient one said...

((hugs))

Kaye Swain - SandwichINK for the Sandwich Generation said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I had a granddog who passed away a year ago, and a beloved cat who we still miss - tho it's been over a decade. They do create special little places in our hearts, don't they? And, if I understand it, on top of losing a beloved in your family as well. Praying for continued comfort and lots of hugs for you and your family during this difficult season of grief and loss.