September 15, 2011

Am I Too Sensitive?

So I kind of got my feelings hurt last week. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this or not, but since it keeps bugging me, well ... you get to hear about it.

So we were at a playgroup with some other military moms and I had invite two new families with babies to join us. It was our usual group but since they don't meet during the summer one of the moms offered her house for us to meet.

Anyway, when I first got there the mom whose house it was said that it was o.k. for Jamie to run around because her house was child-proof, but apparently child-proof is not Jamie-proof. He first tried to turn on the two TVs, then tried to open the sliding door (which he tries at home but is not strong or tall enough yet.) The he climbed upstairs where she said it was ok to go because it was just the kids rooms, but then I didn't want him to destroy her perfectly manicured house (yes, one of those moms who manages to get it all done). He discovered the computer at the top of the stairs on the landing and that was super fun to get him off of. She laughed a little when she saw him and was like, "He just wants to do every thing he's not supposed to." It didn't really bother me because her 1st grade son was the same (according to stories) so at least I didn't feel judged.

So shortly after prying the glass candle holder from his hands and putting it on the kitchen table, I took him into the toy room where the other moms and kids were and started playing with him. He wanted to TV on and I kept telling him "no" while distracting him with toys. He was interested in what the other kids were playing with so we had a lesson (or 100) on sharing, etc.

So usually, I am stressed about this kind of stuff, but the other two little boys he kind of interacts with are about the same energy level, so I'm not really embarrassed. Anyway, in the meantime, I'm talking to the two new moms two new moms and stuff while trying to get him to settle down and one says that she misses working with kids in the toddler/pre-k age range and she couldn't wait for her 8 month old to get bigger.

She was telling me how she worked with kids that age before she got pregnant and they moved here and how she was anxious to get back into it because it was so much fun. Then while I am telling Jamie yet again to not play with the TV and showing him some toys, she says, "He's the kid in class that I'd hate to have to deal with," then kind of laughs and says, "just joking."

Now at the time, I was more stressed about dealing with his acting out (we'd had a 4-day weekend with Daddy and he was mad Daddy had to go back to work.) Once I git home and started to think about it, I just started to worry more and more about it. Every little thing he did, like pulling the cover off the TV after I told him not too for the 100th time that day, or deal with him feeding his food to the dog, or throwing a tantrum because he wanted to go somewhere, I'd start thinking about it. It's been a little over a week and I am so consumed by the fear that he is going to get a teacher who is verbal with comments like that in front of him or treat him like he's bothering her.

I know I'm over thinking it. I know that I shouldn't take it personal, because this girl probably didn't mean it the way if came out, but he is definitely a kid who you've got to keep challenged either mentally or physically.

Is there something I can do to start working with him now? Any advice? I know at least one of two of you with "active" kiddos.

Until our next cup of tea ...

3 Tea Party Guest:

ABW said... active kiddo! I wish I knew the magic answer. They are usually happy to do things with you....laundry, dishes, etc. I used to let Em play in the sink all the time while I prepared dinner.

I think it is hard when you have an active kiddo, because even if you monitor their every move in public, there are still times they can get away. (Remember the code Adam at Abs at Walmart?)

What does he love to do? I'd do more of that, and just remember that if he coats his entire body in desitin, I promise it will last no longer than a week. I'm still living this, as my son was suspended for 1.5 days due to wanting to discuss primary and secondary colors instead of the color yellow. Ugh.

Megan (Sis B) said...

Eh, there will always be people who are horrified by your child/children. Don't let them get to you. If playgroup is stressful (taking my kids to other people's houses is stressful because of things JUST LIKE THIS), find other activities. Swimming is great, maybe a tumbling class at a Little Gym, playgrounds (where you will find that other peoples' children are WAY worse than yours), hands-on museums, places with dirt/sand/etc that he can play without hurting anything, etc. Invite some friends to your house to play, where it is more Jamie-proof. And don't worry about teachers yet. He has a lot of growing and changing to do before he gets there. He sounds perfectly normal to me--or perhaps a bit smarter because the kids who are more inquisitive and explore like that are generally the brighter ones.

I hope this helps. At least a little. :)

jenicini said...

I think it's really hard not to feel like you do when 1) care @ your son's behavior 2) are already a little stressed from the situation. Kid's behaviors are all over the chart at his age because of the differences in energy, development, and maturity. Just keep taking it one day at a time and doing what you do. :D