Getting through it one day at a time ...

Sometimes keeping busy to the point of falling into bed exhausted is one way to get through a deployment ... sometimes curling up on the sofa with a good book, cup of tea and favorite blanket does the trick ...

Other times, dancing around in your livingroom in your favorite silk pajamas, a glass of wine and singing to the top of your lungs until you lose your voice does the trick ... that's all I have to day on that!!!

Mistress, master or servant?

It’s funny what things you identify with when your Soldier is deployed. Songs are especially powerful during this time because your emotions are all over the place. I will admit that I have found myself identifying with some of the strangest things. A few months back some of the girls were over for dinner and we got to talking about military life and how we’d all married our husband’s after they joined the Army, which essentially made us mistresses. The song, “Stay,” by Sugarland came to mind. Listen for yourself:

“Stay,” is a song about a mistress who is always waiting for her love, but he always leaves her waiting to be with his wife.

I’ve heard it a few times and each time I did it struck a chord with me. These were the parts that particularly, stood out. “If taken out of its original context,” it could almost be a view of what I have felt as times as an Army wife.

“I'll be begging you, baby, beg you not to leave. But I'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve. What do I have to do to make you see, she can't love you like me. Why don't you stay, I'm down on my knees. I'm so tired of being lonely. Don't I give you what you need? When she calls you will go. You keep telling me, baby, there will come a time, when you will leave her arms and forever be in mine. But I don't think that's the truth. It's too much pain to have to bare, to love a man you have to share. I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?”


Not, that I would ever trade my life. I’d do anything to be with my husband … even sharing him.

I find it funny, now that I am open about sharing my thoughts at some of the random things that I think of, but then most of my friends will tell you that is normal for me. I am a deep thought kinda girl. I have so much going on in my head that sometimes it feels like it will explode and as I’ve said before, writing is the way for me to face my fears, joys, problems, etc. I love it. I’ve been doing some writing lately, but nothing that I’m ready to post here yet. Stuff I haven’t worked out yet.

This is just another one of those random “Michelle moments.” Welcome to my life! For those of you who've face a deployment before, what are some of the things that you identified with?

Until our next cup of tea …

Reflections of deployments ...

As many of you know, I work for the Military Police at our installation. I've come to make some very close friends here in the unit both before I was here and since I arrived in September. I anxiously await the return of our deployed unit, but know that it unfortunately means another will have to leave, whether one of ours or from somewhere else. It's a bittersweet cycle, while I am happy to see others reunited with their Soldier and not-so-patiently await my turn, my heart hurts for those who will have to face the seperation.

That's the nature of the beast, the life we chose, but it doesn't always make it easy. As spouses hug their Soldiers a second longer than usual and children cling their their soon-to-depart parent, I look back on the last few weeks before my husband left with fondness. Although we'd like to think we are exceptionally close to each other, I know that there were some things that changed a little as the date drew closer. I wasn't so determined to have him pick up is laundry, I was more patient when browsing in "his" stores and not so eager to leave him to find shoes or other trinkets. I think I even put more love into making dinner, knowing that those moments would so be a distant memory.

If live in the military has taught me one thing, it would be to appreciate the small things ... walking the dog, sitting on the back porch, rides in the country ... even grocery shopping. I would much rather grocery shop by myslef, it's so much faster and we don't end up with too many "extras," but when he is with me, I just remind myself how lucky I am to have him home, even if the newest movie release, two bags of Oreos or some other "I've been meaning to get this" ends up in the buggy. I just make a mental note to discourgae that behavior in our future children and move the bread so it doesn't get crushed.

Sometimes waiting is the hardest job in the military and there is no "early release for good behavior." You just take it one day at a time ... or in my case, one cup of tea at a time!

Until our next cup of tea ...

Post No. 400 ... making memories, looking to the future

It seems like forever since I last posted, but life and the deployment seem to have taken its toll on my time lately. Life has been so busy with work, school, FRG activities and planning the ceremony for our five year anniversary. That’s right, George surprised me with the announcement that he wants us to have the wedding that the Army postponed when he returns next spring, for our five year anniversary … Wow, has it been that long already.

So much has happened in the last four years, it’s hard to believe that we’ve really almost hit that five year mark … well we have to hit the fourth one first, but that will come May 24, so it’s right around the corner.

It’s funny to look back at the conversations and immediate goals for our lives then. Starting our careers, building our home and dreaming of all the adventures we’d have. So much of that has come true. Now he is a captain, waiting for his chance at company command. I have five classes left to finish my masters (fingers crossed for an August graduation!) I spent three and a half years my journalism career and now am working in a public relations field. I love it so much and though it was only temporary position, the recent announcement that it will be extended for another two is exciting. I love what I do. I get to experience so much.

Four years ago we started preparing ourselves for deployments so sure that we’d breeze right through them in a blink. Now, a two-time veteran of these long separations, the only thing we know for certain is that we’ll get through them together.

Building our home has been the best part for me, kind of like playing with a doll house as a child … but this one has bills! We’ve taken our make shift home filled with college hand-me-down furniture and slowly rolled our pennies to make it into a beautiful place where our friends can join us in laughter and conversation. It is (hopefully!) a reflection of both of us, though the pink teacups are definitely me! There are pieces of George everywhere and I am glad that I learned to let him have his say. He did a great job of picking out the livingroom furniture … the second time around! Kind of like our life, he picks the things that anchor us and I come in and make it softer, more comforting. You learn that you can make a home out of a cardboard box in military life … all you need is a few “universal” curtains, a throw pillow here and there and a place to plug in the coffeepot, everything else falls into place.

KG is still my battle buddy, my rock, that I know I can go to when I need to let it all out, but two newest friends, KC and BG are helping me see the lighter side of it all while learning more about who I am, which is apparently the “middle sister” though I am the older by three weeks!

We laugh and argue, and in the end sit down to a glass of wine (or recently a chocolate martini!) and let it all go. Recently, they made their own “house books” like I had created when George and I first married. It is a place where we make notes, store pictures and check off lists for the homes that as military Families we will constantly be uprooting and moving. It’s kind of a place where we can ensure that all of the things that make our house a home can be recorded so we don’t forget something in the future. BG and I look forward to making notes for our children to ensure that no matter where they are unceremoniously moved to in this life they will have the comforts that they hold dear even when they have to (again) leave behind friends and memories.

Looking at our books, we laugh about how different we are in personalities and design. Whenever we are out someplace we play “guess which one is me” with everything from paint colors to flowers and plants to curtain designs.

Looking back on the last four years I’ve come to realize how lucky I am. I’ve met so many people, lived so many experiences and made a million memories. If the last four years is only a glimpse of the next forty, I guess I’d better get more scrapbooks, because I don’t want to forget a moment!

Until our next cup of tea ...