April 23, 2008

Mistress, master or servant?

It’s funny what things you identify with when your Soldier is deployed. Songs are especially powerful during this time because your emotions are all over the place. I will admit that I have found myself identifying with some of the strangest things. A few months back some of the girls were over for dinner and we got to talking about military life and how we’d all married our husband’s after they joined the Army, which essentially made us mistresses. The song, “Stay,” by Sugarland came to mind. Listen for yourself:

“Stay,” is a song about a mistress who is always waiting for her love, but he always leaves her waiting to be with his wife.

I’ve heard it a few times and each time I did it struck a chord with me. These were the parts that particularly, stood out. “If taken out of its original context,” it could almost be a view of what I have felt as times as an Army wife.

“I'll be begging you, baby, beg you not to leave. But I'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve. What do I have to do to make you see, she can't love you like me. Why don't you stay, I'm down on my knees. I'm so tired of being lonely. Don't I give you what you need? When she calls you will go. You keep telling me, baby, there will come a time, when you will leave her arms and forever be in mine. But I don't think that's the truth. It's too much pain to have to bare, to love a man you have to share. I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?”

Not, that I would ever trade my life. I’d do anything to be with my husband … even sharing him.

I find it funny, now that I am open about sharing my thoughts at some of the random things that I think of, but then most of my friends will tell you that is normal for me. I am a deep thought kinda girl. I have so much going on in my head that sometimes it feels like it will explode and as I’ve said before, writing is the way for me to face my fears, joys, problems, etc. I love it. I’ve been doing some writing lately, but nothing that I’m ready to post here yet. Stuff I haven’t worked out yet.

This is just another one of those random “Michelle moments.” Welcome to my life! For those of you who've face a deployment before, what are some of the things that you identified with?

Until our next cup of tea …

1 Tea Party Guest:

lime said...

thanks for sharing. i can appreciate that it's just putting thoughts out there. not a complaint or a weakness or whatever. just the thoughts that roll around inside your noggin and it just feels good to put them out for a little. (i think the name and the love of chocolate may predispose us to this way of dealing with things *wink)