March 11, 2006

Farewell my love and safe return ...

March 9, 2006
Well the day has come that we have been preparing for and I wish I could say I am ready, but I hope to never get to the point where this day is not an emotional one. The day came early as the alarm pierced through my sleep at 3:30 a.m. We had gine to bed a little after 11 p.m. and I admit I cannot function with fours hours of sleep. "Hit the snooze," George said as he rolled over and put his arm around me.
As we drifted back into sleep his cell phone rang, "... and it begins," he said groggily as we got up to face the day. Fifteen minutes later we were in my truck headed for the battalion headquaters.

George is an officer in the S-3 shop and was made Unit Movement Officer for the deployment, a job that left him at work long after many of the others have gone home, so we had to make the most of our time together, but I understand.

The Soldiers of the S-3 shop had to be there earlier than the rest this morning because they had to get their stuff in order before moving out more than 500 Soldiers. As the bags and spouses were left in the office it was quickly becoming a reality that our husbands were leaving.

We sat there together watching the organized chaos of it all and helped load the baggage in the van to be moved to Cantrell Gym where the Soldiers and baggage were loaded on trucks and busses for the hour-long to the airport.

After nearly two hours and sitting about trying not to think about saying goodbye, we all walked to the gym parking lot (about 6:30 a.m.)to meet up with our husbands who had been organizing the first group of Soldiers to leave.

I didn't get to see much of George as he was in constant motion, so I sat there "guarding" his carry-on stuff and willing myself to be strong. I knew if I The time went by fast and soon it was time to say goodbye. We stood there holding each other as the busses began to load up. I was proud that I was able to get through it without crying, but knew that when I got home from work, an empty house would make the reality of it all sink in.

I have to say, the hardest part for me was coming home and seeing his truck in the driveway as I turned the corner. I took a minute for me to realize he's not here and the excited flutter in my heart dropped to sadness.

I met some of the other spouses for a quick dinner and came home to find the answer machine blinking. I burst into tears as I heard, "Hey, baby! I guess you're out ..." I called my mom complete hysterical. It took her a while to calm me down and tell her what was wrong. "I don't think I can do this!" I cried, suddenly realizing how long a year would be.

"You can't put everything on hold for fear that you'll miss his call," said my friend Angie when I called her to tell her what happened. I know she felt bad because she had insisted that I go to dinner with them. And she was right. At least my husband called, her's didn't and he left earlier than George, but she's used to him calling days afterwards. Although this is their first deployment in 7-plus years of marraige, she is used to him being gone when he worked with the training unit here.

So I went to bed and fell asleep with tears in my eyes and a 60 pound Bulldog spread across my lap ... really he is getting too big for that, but I'll work on it later.

March 10, 2006
Today is no easier than yesterday, but I'm o.k. George called again last night or should I say this morning at 12:59 a.m. so I got the chance to talk to him briefly. He said that they were at a stop over and only had a few minutes, but wanted to check in. I admit, it was great to hear his voice. He called again at 10:38 p.m.and we had a chance to talk for about 15 minutes. The time difference will take some getting used to.

Editor's note: As you may understand this post was hard for me to write and while I started it on March 9, 2006, it has taken me a few days to complete and post.

1 Tea Party Guest:

dyzgoneby said...

Chin up girlie and big ((((HUGS)))).

Any amount of words of wisdom I can give you, will not help comfort you or ease your fears. However, I will say give yourself some "you" time to adjust. It's a hard road for those of us left at home, but one I would not change. It does get a tad bit easier as time goes on.

I am about a month and a half into a very long 14mth deployment. The rollercoaster ride is one I already want to be over, but I will be waiting here when he returns.

If you ever want someone to talk to or a shoulder via cyberspace to cry on, I am here with you every step of the way.