Military Life: Not always easy

Well it will be that time soon, time to bid my husband farewell and spend the next year or so battling worries, fears and anxiety as I "put on a brave face" for the younger wives, assuring them that their husbands are fine and it'll be over soon than we think.
I was the Family Readiness Group Leader for B Company, 2nd Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment (within the 4th Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain) during the battalion's month-long, stateside deployment to Fort Chaffee, Ark.
I admit, when we first got married I knew what I was getting into. I understood that as an officer he would have top be at work before his Soldiers, and often not leave until long-after they were at home with their families. I knew it and I accepted it. I also knew that as an officer's spouses the younger spouses would look to me for guidance in disseminating the information that we would get concerning the unit. (I am twenty-seven, but many of these spouses are eighteen, nineteen-years-old and have never been away from their parents, much less hundreds of miles away in a place where they didn't know anyone.)
When my husband's commander asked me to step in as the family leader (George was the Company XO), I readily agreed. How hard could it be, our duty is to act as liaison between the families and commander. But it was so much more than that.
Being a brand new unit meant that many of our Soldiers, maybe 75% of the 5,000-plus Soldiers in the Brigade were coming in rom basic training. Many of them had married their spouses just before entering or on leave (vacation) time between basic and reporting to Fort Polk.
The deployment to Fort Chaffee was our first test of how things would run in a actual war deployment situation.
I got phone calls from bored wives, dealt with petty "she hurt my feeling when she said" arguments, spent many long nights on the phone with a suicidal spouse and had to "defend" myself against long-serving spouses who didn't think I was "old" enough or "experienced" enough to deal with the responsibilities.
In the first five months after the unit was activated we had six babies born and four more on the way. Every time I turned around there was a list of another for to six new wives that needed information on the post, school systems, getting housing and other stuff that people in the "civilian" world take for granted.
I declared I was quitting at least three times a week to my coworkers who often expressed their joy at not being in my shoes.
My first real "I can't do this anymore" came during the deployment to Fort Chaffee.
At about 10 p.m. I got a call from the battalion commander's wife. She said she had a message for me to pass along to the wives in my company.
"A single (unmarried) Soldier had be fatally shot during a training exercise with live rounds (known as a live-fire training exercise). As soon as his family was notified, his name and company (there are four companies plus headquarters) would be released." I was also told to inform the spouses that the Soldiers would be resuming training and that the deployment would continue as scheduled.
I had to call each of my platoon representatives and give them the exact message that was given to me. They in turn pass it on to the five to fifteen spouses they are in contact with on a almost daily basis. (We had 50-plus spouses in the company at the time and it was easier to break it down so a representative (or point of contact) had fewer spouses, then they would pass info along to me and depending the situation I would contact the spouse or the commander's wife.)
Over the next few hours I had to keep it together as spouses cried, demanded to know why their husbands could not come home and squelch rumors that flowed as freely as the tears and fears.
I am not ashamed to admit that later that night after all of the POCs had been contacted I curled up in the corner of my bedroom and cried while my puppy, Sgt. major tried in vain to figure out what was wrong.
The next few days were a blur as wives called me angry and scared. Many of the Soldiers had called their spouses to give them "the inside scoop" but since none of the Soldiers in B Company were present when the accident occurred it only fueled the rumor mill.
Even now, while I have learned the true events of the day, the information has not been made public, therefore I will not post that information or the Soldier's name out of respect for him and his family.
I served as FRG leader from November 2004 to August 2005, when my husband was moved to headquarters to serve as the Civil Affairs officer.
I still maintain many of the friendships I made in B Company, thankful that it wasn't always business. Some of the younger spouses Amber, Erin and such still call or I'll see them about town. For a while I held off, wanting them to rely the new FRG leader. They would still call me asking questions, which I gladly answer but encouraged them initially to go to Angie and now Julie.
We have been with this unit for a year now, though many we knew from before the unit was activated. While I can say that it has been difficult at times, the friendships, experiences and laughter make them seem like distant memories; memories that I wouldn't trade for anything.