Rough Times ... Welcomed Homecoming

Whew! What a rough time we've had with the deployment. He was gone a month, but we had more issues thN the previous year-long deployments! As in the previous post, you know the little guy was sick with some random flu-like virus on the 19th which lasted the day.

The following Tuesday we woke up ready to head to the airport to send my mom, aunt and cousins home. Unfortunately, we also woke to a surprise ... Jamie had a 100.3 degree temperature. By the time we dropped my family off and got home after lunch it had risen to 102.9 ... Yikes!! So the fun began ... we alternated a regiment of meds and rest.

He had so much trouble sleeping, couldn't eat ... poor little guy just sat in my lap with little to no energy.

On top of all that, he had six ... SIX ... teeth popping through. UGH! I can't imagine the pain it has been in.

His fever finally broke Saturday morning, just in time for Daddy to come home! It was definately good time, I was beginning to reach the end of my rope. Nights with no sleep, struggling to get him to eat, juggling vistors and a sick toddler - I was exhausted!

With Daddy home, things settled down ... I even got a pedicure on Sunday! Its was a good thing, because this morning Jamie woke up with the right side of his little face swollen from mosquito bites.





It looks so pitiful huh!?! Poor little guy keeps scratching ... I feel so bad for him.

Well, I'm off to get some stuff done before the little guy wakes up ...

Until our next cup of tea ...

Dealing with Deployments

So I've learned how to deal with deployments - how to stay busy, what makes it better when I get overwhelmed (McD's mocha frape LARGE!), etc. I thought I had it all figured out, but this past year been a learning experience to say the least.

Luckily, with the nature of George's current unit, he is gone weeks at a time versus months, but still its a hard concept to grasp when you're 16-months-old. Usually, about day 3 is when things start to get really "fun" and each day is an adventure depending on how he feels! Today, was one of those days. The day started at 4:30 a.m. - Monkey was ready to go, but I needed a few cups of coffee!

From the start he was ready to push buttons. By 9 am, Jamie had greeted me with dirty diaper on hand, knocked the surround sound speakers down twice, hidden the remote so the TV is stuck on Disney Channel, smeared blueberry smoothie across the breakfast room walls & thrown a 2-hour tantrum! Whew! What a day!

Later, he managed to pull more than 150 wipes out of the box before I found him. He was sitting on top of the pile, he clothes barely on 30 minutes were all wet!

It's hard to be patient with him but I know that he just wants his daddy. On top of it the poor lil guy is cutting two teeth! I can see them at the edge of his gums and go to bed each night praying they break through during the night.

The key is really just to keep busy. We go to the park, plan dinners with other moms who have kids his age, go on trips to the zoo, etc. I try to go to the gym a few times a week, where he gets to play with other kids in the child care center. Every day is a new adventure, new test of my patience. I just hope he knows when I patience its just that I miss Daddy too and don't know how to make it better for him. In the end, I hope it makes us all stronger ... and closer as a family.

Until our next cup of tea ...

Happy dance ... The best part of a deployment ...

Deployments ... what a trying time for a military family, but when its over, when you are standing there and you see your service member walk in, and your heart swells with pride, your eyes fill with tears and your smile lights up the room, it almost makes it worth it.

We've been doing the deployment thing off and on for almost 8 years and though you may think I'm crazy, I have to say, deployments make our family better ... and stronger. Now, don't get me wrong, we don't look forward to deployments, but we live life with the philosophy of looking on the bright side and I must say, I think military families are lucky.

Every time he comes home, whether its a week or a year, I get to relive the "honeymoon" phase. It's like seeing for the first time after months of darkness. Everything is better ... the grass is greener, the sky a brighter blue, the sun a warmer yellow. I am reminded all over again of just how much I love my Soldier.

Sometimes, I am actually sad that the "civilian" world doesn't get to relive that feeling. I love the joy of that "first kiss" all over again.

Now, I'll be the first to be sad when he starts packing those bags or marking days off the calendar as leave date approaches, but once he leaves I look forward to that return with the anticipation of a girl waiting for her first date. And what girl doesn't love an excuse to buy a new dress and pretty shoes ...

And while I'm on the subject, let me just say to my blogging buddy and friend, Army Blogger Wife, it must be like a club at your house with all the happy dancing going on. Welcome home, Gunner!

Until our next cup of tea ...

Love worth waiting for ...

So I'm just going to vent here, please excuse me as I try to sort it all out ...

So as my returning readers know, my husband and his unit recently (January) returned from a 14-month deployment. Not our first so I knew to surround myself supportive friends. And that is what I did. There were four of us, three spouses and a fiancee, varying ranks of Soldiers, varying ages of spouses, I was the only one who'd been through a deployment before. None of this was issues. We tried to watch out for each other, support each other and when needed be a should to cry on, an ear for venting and a pillar of strength when things got bad.

The three of us who were spouses lived on post, each one street over from each other. The fiancee lived about an hour away, but we stayed in contact as much as possible by phone, getting together on days off. They were set to be married this month and we shared her excitement.

Fastforward to the Soldiers coming home, I was there with her to greet him when he arrived home.

Two months later, I think it was in March, they broke up. He'd found out he'd sheated on him during the deployment. The other spouses and I tried not to judge her. We knew this was a hard life and while we absolutely disagreed with what she did, we knew we'd made mistakes before. She was an adult about admitting her mistakes and they went their seperate ways.

We soon learned she'd returned to the other guy. Not something we'd agreed with, but it was her choice. Then the time came for us all to leave. Oddly enough, we all came to the side of the U.S., but the former finacee stayed there. We decided to stay in touch and see how things progressed.

Well, here is my rant. Yesterday, the former finacee called to say she and the other guy were wanting to get married and are trying for a baby(I know it sounds so much worse when I refer to them as that, but that's kind of how it is).

Something about that just set me off. Really it pissed me off. I'm happy she is moving forward, but it kind of felt like a slap in the face. Like she was saying that the sacrifices that we make as military spouses, the months and cumalative years, we spend waiting for our Soldiers to come home, and the reality that they may not, was not worth her effort. I know it's a hard life that we choose as Military Spouses, but for some reason this really got to me.

Maybe for her it was the easy way out. It was easier to not face those challenges, that their love wasn't THAT strong. Maybe I should look at it as a tool to measure how strong our love it, because there was never a doubt that it was worth the waiting. RIght now, I am sitting here, slightly irritated that my dear hubby keeps interrupting me like a child who only wants attention when you are busy, but in retrospect, it means he is home.

Well, I'm off to interrupt whatever game he and the puppy are engrossed in.

Until our next visit ...

The boys are back in town ...

I know it's been a while since I posted here, but just wanted to say ... I'm back! So much has been going on. It took nearly 4 weeks for themto bring home 3,500 Soldiers and between work, school, home life and welcome home ceremonies, I am exhausted.

Friday was the welcome home ceremony held on post and let me tell you, it was a grand affair. From the helicopters delivering the dignitaries (state representatives and mayors, and military leaders) to the various speeches (there were SIX guest speakers!) to the gathering of Families of fallen Soldiers.

Here are some of the pictures I took to commemorate the event ...









There were so many people there. I was lucky to get to park at the event because I chauffered the commander's family (Let. Col. and higher were the only ones who didn't have to ride the prison-inspired white military buses from post ball fields to the event location.)

Instead of sitting in the special seating area she chose to sit with the unit Families, so by the time we got finished greeting everyone the only place left for us to sit was the grass. (We have been in the unit 5 years and who doesn't know the commander's wife, so it took a few minutes.)

Here is my self portrait ... I really love those shoes!



Until our next cup of tea ...

Part Patience, Part Anxiety, Completely Army Life!

Well, here we are mere hours away the last of our Soldiers returning home and I can barely contain my excitement. I am exhausted from nearly two weeks of baking cookies, talking with parents, cleaning my house (even though my Soldier is home ...) and balancing work and school, but it is absolutely worth it.

This day ends 14-month long months of waiting.

I am in heaven as the smells of peanut butter and chocolate chips waft through the house. My husband sits contently in the livingroom catching up on XBox gaming and periodically pausing to send a batch of cookies through "quality control testing." I've already had to go get more cookie dough, but I'm not complaining.

A few weeks ago we attend the Reunion Training Class offered by the unit's chaplain. It was a time for George and I to look back at our experiences and share with other spouses, those who are facing it for the first time.

Many commented on how we seemed to be perfectly content amid all of the turmoil and stress surrounding the challenges of reintergration. We both admitted that it's not always easy, but the key is to communicate and give each other space.

I sit here now, thinking back over his return from the last deployment compared to this one and realize that even if the factors are the same (unit, deployment time, their mission) we still handled this reunion differently that last time.

Most military spouses will admit that over the course of a deployment you change. You mature, become more independent and gain confidence. Lst time he came home I was clingy, catered to his every whim and routinely sacrificed what I wanted to do for his choice. Boy have things changed now!

It's not that I don't do those things, but I've learned to give him his space, communicatied about what we wanted to do and compromised on jumping to assist his every need or want. Judging the two deployment reunions, I realized that as much as we can try to plan for what we expect, things will be different. And THAT is what makes Army life such an adventure, the unknown and uncertainty can help bring a Family together if they are willing to communicate and face challenges together.

Well, the oven is beeping at me and the cookies are disappearing, so I must return to the kitchen ...

Unit our next cup of tea ...

One Chapter Comes to an End ... As Another Begins

It’s slowly sinking in … as George’s deployed brigade continues to return from Iraq (nearly 4,000 Soldiers) it is finally sinking in that he is not going back. Well, not this time anyway.

2008 was a very difficult year for me. I started the year with my husband halfway across the world, faced with the realization that I would face a Valentine's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year before seeing him again. For some reason 15-months is harder to face than a 12-months. Those first three months you realize that a year later you would still be a part. Our first deployment was only 12-months and every month I could look in the mirror and say "This time next year he will be home."

His dad faced hard times from early on, and each month I trekked to Houston to spend time with him. I encouraged him to tell George what was going on, but he didn't want to worry him. From doctor's apointment to doctor's appointment we went.

I was finally settling into my new job when we learned that many of the Soldiers I worked with on a daily basis would also face deployment.

In August, we faced the reality of his dad's illness and filed a Red Cross Message to bring George home on emergency leave, where he was able to spend his dad's last three months with him.

When he came home in September to care for his sick father, there was always the possibility that he would return. Even after his father died, it was a possibility once he got his father’s estate in order.

But today as I attended the second welcome home ceremony in a week to welcome home George’s mentor and a close friend to both of us and it finally began to sink in, things were looking up. As I made Ron’s sign, I was excited not only for his homecoming, but the reality that my husband is home for a while.

The past few weeks have been hectic as we work to bring them all home. George has worked ridiculous hours, convoying back and forth between the post and airport, nearly an hour away. It was exciting to see the first of his Soldiers come home. I talked with excited parents and nervous wives, backed more cookies that even Santa could eat, and waited anxiously for their arrival. Though, we were excited to see them come home, I think for me, today’s homecoming was the one that I was most excited (with the exception of my own husband of course.)


Ron is a dear friend, part mentor, part big brother, part father. He was deployed with George the first time and while I’m sure they fed each other’s desire for excitement and need to buck the system, I am grateful to him for bringing my husband home safely, for regardless of how much “trouble” he likes to get into, I know that he will always look out for George.


Despite the rank difference, Ron is at ease and completely comfortable as he joins us often at our house for dinner. He’s the single guy you invite over because you know even if you feed him stale cereal and warm milk, he’ll act as if it’s the best meal he’s ever had. Yeah, maybe that’s why I missed Ron so much. The “Boy, this is a great meal!” has started to wear off of George as he’s been home a few months now.


I love how after dinner they sit back with drinks in hand and share stories of their time in “the sand.” They weren’t together in this deployment, with Ron leaving the battalion shortly after they got to Iraq, but they were already swapping stories and telling of the tall tales they’d heard of the other. I can’t wait until Ron settles in and joins us for a few dinners. As the beer flows, so do the stories … I think that is the Army way. This deployment was a long one and I’m sure they’ll be telling stories late into the night. They’ve even out lasted the puppy and he’s a ball of energy when visitors come over. I guess I’d better stock the pantry and make sure the beers cold … it looks like we’re in for some tall tales. 2009 is a chance to start fresh!

Until our next cup of tea ...

The most beautiful of all photos ...

This past week has been exhausting. I'm at 33 hours awake on 3 hours of sleep, but it's all been worth it.

One of my deployed units was supposed to return on Tuesday but facing delays they did not return until last night. Telling the families that had gathered at the gymnasium onTuesday that their Soldier would not be arriving for another two days was one of the hardest thing I've done since taking this job over a year ago.

The welcome party met at the HQ building starting as early as 10 p.m. last night. I arrived just after 11 p.m. filled with coffee and trying to stay awake. We arrived at the airport just after 1 a.m. and waited ... and waited. Just after 2:30 a.m. we got the news that they had arrived. Out to the tarmac we go to welcome home our weary warriors. What an amazing experience.



Words cannot describe how tired these travelers were as they slowly exited the plane and walked down the stairs. Their pace quickened as saw the final steps of their journey came into view.

They filed into the hanger, turned in their weapons and settled onto the bleachers to await their final briefings before loading up on buses to travel the last hour seperating them from their loved ones.

A little after 3:30 a.m. the Soldiers loaded onto the buses and off we went for what many Soldiers describe as the longest road home.

As they filed into the gym, the excitement could be felt as the Families stood to their feet and the cheered. The tears flowed as the Soldiers stood in formation and the commanding general thanked them for their service. 15-months was too long for them and the general had barely ended him speech when children raced forwarded into the waiting arms of their parents.

These are the moments that make the life we life worth it.

Until our next cup of tea ...

Welcome to Our World ...

I'm sitting here watching TLC's Little People, Big World. Now I usually wait until the end of the season when they have the big marathon so I an get it all. But tonight I decided to watch because the father, Matt Roloff, was going to Iraq to help a family with dwarf children.

I am always intriqued to see out "civilians" will see and portray our troops when visiting Iraq and Afghanistan. It was good to see the support that they have for the tropps and how in a small way they see what military families go through on a daily basis. It's not 7 days for us, but 12, even 15 months.

As the mother Amy said, you can't call them, you have to wait for them to call you. And if they are injured, it could be days the family finds out. That's the hardest part ... the not knowing, the uncertainty.

It definately takes a strong person to live this life. There have been numberous times when I was on the phone with George and he said, "Baby, I've got to go" and the line goes dead. You don't know why, sometimes there is thunderous sounds in the background, other times it terrifyingly quiet. It could be days before I heard from him again.

As military families it is easier for us to remember that every moement we have is precious, and by treasuring those memories, we are given a gift that few others cherish. It is our reward for doing what we do ...

Until our next cup of tea ...

One of kind ... like my husband

O.k. I've spent forever looking but cannot find the post I was looking for ... so let me explain. During the first deployment (Afghanistan) I commissioned a piece of art for George, given to him upcon his return. It was entitled, Homefront Guardian, and done by a military spouse artist whom I had interviewed for the newspaper when she did a piece depicting New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. (If you click on it to enlarge, you see that Sgt. Major has the SGM rank on his collar.)



His reaction was much better than I expected. He really loved it and pointed it out to anyone who came to visit over the next year. So this deployment, I wanted to do something that he would enjoy just as much. The spouse of his Battalion's previous commander gave me the name of another military spouse artist who could recreate anything using the person name or a word or phrase. To be more specific she creates a picture by writing a word over and over in different ways to give depth and demension. I had it framed and gave it to George last week, after it was decided that he would be put on the unit's rear detachment to be with his father who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer.



Go ahead, click on the picture for a closer look. If you'd like the artist's contact information, just leave your email address and I'll send it to you.

I also had one done with my name using a picture of one of my grandmother's teacups. I'll post it when I get it framed.



Until our next cup of tea ...

This is where the puppy gets serious ...

It has been an exhausting two weeks, but we have gotten some things figured out. George's dad has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver (though he hasn't drank alcohol in 25 years), pancreatic cancer, COPD and 3 bleeding ulcers. He was hospitalized for two days last week for a few surgeries to relieve the preasure in his liver and pancreas and we go back on Friday to see what the next step is. But in the meantime, Sgt. Major has been keeping us all busy laughing our a$$es off! This morning I was awakened to a 65-pound puppy pounce and a big bully face staring down at me. Now if you haven't had the pleasure of being awakened to this, imagine a 65-pound weight being dropped on your stomach and a deep-throat growling monster just inches away from your face breathing a not-so-great-smelling warm aroma inches from your head with a big Joker-like grin on his face ... really can't be beat! Once you are able to breath again, you can't help but laugh. Then George and Sgt. Major westled on the bed while I worked on the computer ... here was the ensuing event ...





This is what we call a
"pig in a blanket!"



The hazzards of being a photojournalist is you get caught up in the action!



(Don't worry, he doesn't actually bite me, he licks!)



It's been a busy week to include a weekend in Vegas for the two of us and George's birthday dinner. So I'll continue to post in between doctor's visits!

Until our next cup of tea ...

A Welcome Home, A Hospital Visit and and Anniversary ...

Greetings my dear friends and visitors! What a emotional rollercoater this week has been. I was set to leave yesterday to go to Houston to meet George for his R&R(deployment leave). I was crazy excited, trying desperately to get homework done and turned in, bags packed for out three week stay in Houston as well as getting everything completed to get my unit's Families through my vacation. But on Monday, all of that changed.

My father-in-law was scheduled for a scope proceedure for some stomach and other pain that has been plaguing him for months. He hasn't eaten any solid food for three weeks and George and I were set to sit down with his doctors and get a straight answer once he got home. But at noon I recieved a call from his niece that the doctors felt something was wrong. He was very jaundiced (think school bus yellow) weak and has lost another 10 pounds or so since I'd see him over the Fourth of July. They ran test and discovered that on top of the liver disease they were already treating him for, he also had pancreatic cancer and would need surgery soon. They were concerned that it was such a high risk proceedure that the initiated a Red Cross messsage (as had I already) to bring George home early. I had already (thankfully) talked to George and had told him what was going on because no one needs to be surprised like that. The doctor's Red Cross message went so far to say that without surgery his dad would only have 3-4 months.

My command team sent me home to pack and I left for Houston early Tuesday with the promise from my command team of any help they could offer to get George home. He arrived on Thursday and we met with the specialist yesterday. His diagnosis is the same, but his options are better. We're taking it one day at a time and I'll post more as we know, but I will be off and on the next few weeks.

On a lighter note, my 3-year blog-iversary! I'd meant to write a reflective piece about how my page has evolved over the years, settling for a "life in the military" theme. Reflect on those who've been here from the beginning (Lime!), the new friends and those who have become a source of inspiration and support. Thank you all for your friendship!

Until our next cup tea ...

Something about Sundays ...

I've come to love my Sundays this deployment. In facing multiple deployments and seperations, I've learned that finding moments to myself is key to keeping my sanity and peace.

My Sundays have become routine, something that is a bit of a comfort for me. It is the one day I sleep in late, snuggling with the puppy over a cup of coffee as I slowly wake up over whatever craft/home impovement shows. After a quick ... o.k. leisure ... shower, I get ready for the day and then grab my grocery list and head to Wagon Master, the local (moderate tasting) steakhouse (term used loosely!). There I grab a steak salad, well done, no bacon, with extra ranch and a sweet tea. As I read a book or finish my grocery list, I usually listen to the banter of the people around me.

Then I head next door to Wal-Mart to get what isn't at our commissary (which can be hit or miss on my list, I'm a bit picky when George is gone.)

Usually by the time I am heading home I get the customary phone call from my father-in-law asking if I'd heard from his son yet (I get calls on Saturdays.) In more cases than not, George calls in and says his dad's phone was busy, at which point we laugh that he was on the phone with me stressing about when he'd get his call. After hanging up with both, I head home to put away the groceries and play with the puppy while I wait for George to log onto the computer so we can talk a little before he heads off to bed.

After a few hours of homeowrk or craft projects, it's time for dinner. Usually, I eat alone, it's my day, but occasionally I break with tradition and invite a friend over to join me.

Then after cleaning the kitchen and playing with the puppy, I settle in with a stitching project and watch Army Wives with another cup of cappicino, then it's off to bed, to start another week of work.

It's my little piece of solitude and heave. Just enough to help me find my "reset" button.

Until our next cup of tea ...

Learning to Live with Fear

It was another long day at work as my unit prepares to deploy. I pulled onto the main road leading to the north housing area, anxious to get home. In front of me was a generic white passenger van, white with government plates. No big deal, they are almost as commons as Humvees on a military installation. I assumed they were headed for training at the Joint Readiness Training Center, since that was the only place government vehicles would be headed on this road.

I absently flipped through the radio stations and made a mental list of things to do as I drove home. Suddenly, my attitude changed.

Just as I head into the housing area I notice the government vehicle ahead of me making the same turns ahead of me. My mind raced as I quickly tried to think of other reasons for a government vehicle to be in the housing area, but only two things came to mind, a health and welfare check (senior NCOs checking on Families and their quarters) or notification of fallen Soldier.

"Oh, God, don't let it be someone I know," I pray as I slowly drove down the street.

Ahead of me the vehicle turned into my neighborhood section. I followed. Then onto my street. I held my breathe and turned in at my house," I think, my heart racing.

The vehicle slowed and I could see the driver and passenger gesture to each other as they looked at house numbers on the right side of the street. My head began to hurt as I pulled into my driveway on the left. I saw them slow as they entered the cul-de-sac and came back up the street.

I got out of my Tahoe and slowly pulled my bags out of the car, trying to imagine what I would do if they stopped in front of my house.

A few house down they turn into a driveway. I held my breathe as they got out. ACUs ... I let out my breathe. No chaplain ... I began to breathe easier. They pulled a basket out of the car with blue ribbon. I sighed and turned to walk up my driveway ... A new baby.

I entered the house, greeted by the puppy and let my bags fall to the floor and dropped to the sofa. After a few moments, I got up grabbed my phone, texted my closest friend Aris and went about preparing dinner and starting a load of laundry.

Another day without a visit ... Another day survived.

Until our next cup of tea ...

Happy Anniversary from Across the Big Pond!

Happy 4th Anniversary My Love!

Yesterday I enjoyed my anniversary gift ... my husband treated me to a spa day. Here's the story ...

At 9 a.m. a stretched while limo pulled up in front of my father-in-law's house. After a short ride i arrived at the day spa. After my initial consulation, and changing into a robe, the fun began.

First there was a seaweed wrap ... there are a few times when being covered in green goo is actually relaxing, this was one of those times.

After a relazing warm shower to remove all of the mud, i was treated to a full body massage, after Wednesday's activiites, it was much needed, but that story is another post.

Then came lunch. I had chicken salad on cresent roll with ceasar salad catered from Le Madeline in Houston. It was served in this tiny little lavender alcove, with a natural wood table and candles. It was closed off by a sheer curtains. Absolutely wonderful.

After lunch came the facial ... they kept saying I had good hair and my skin was quite healty, but I really don't put much work into anything other than my hair. But I digress ... so I had a facial ... first she put some citrus smelling stuff on and put me under a steamer. Then she massaged my face and neck and put a mask on. Afterwards, she finished with a cooling cream moisturizer ... absolute heaven.

Next came the pedicure and manicure, which was just as wonderful. I talked the George through most of it, but it was fun and i got a beautiful ruby read polish which is different from my usual princess pinks. I even got timy little flowers on my toes!

Last was my favorite part ... hair cut and color. I absolutely loved the hair dresser and wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home but the end of the day. I got carmel highlights in my hair, which I'd had a few years ago and George loved. then a trim and style and I was almost done.

I got my make up done just as the limo showed up to take me to Gordon and Mindy, George's childhood friend and his fiance for dinner. We went to Benihana (Yummy!) and I ended to day catching up with them and drinking mojitos. Definately an amazing day!

Until our next cup of tea ...




Editor's Note: Photo added after initial post. It was taken at the end of the spa day.

Family is not just blood relation ...

The hardest part of deployments for me is not having the support of my Family like I thought I would. I know if hard for them to understand what is going on, and in their defense they have busy lives of their own to keep up with, but sometimes it would be nice to have a phone call asking how I am doing.
In recent weeks, I’ve talked to (or attempted to talk to) three different members of my Family. The conversation was good when we were talking about their lives, but when I brought up George and/or the deployment, suddenly they had something to do or in the case of one, they were slightly distracted by their dog begging for attention, I guess.
For the longest time, I thought the estranged relationship with my Family was unique to me. I followed the visitation rules of Santa, once a year. But the more people I talk about it with, the more I realize that’s just how life in the Army is.
Civilians don’t understand what we are going though. The service members in my Family all served before marrying, so they don’t have that experience to reflect upon.
They all have their own lives and when we visit, their world doesn’t stop, so if they have to cut a visit short because they had a shopping trip planned with co-workers, then the visit ends. We go back to where we are staying a entertain ourselves. Amazingly, these trips are as much about getting stuff we need and can’t find in our middle-of-nowhere location on post. It’s kind of like the Wild West, where we go into town to get supplies and “see the town folk.”
I will admit that it does bother me, especially when I see the Family making plans without me. Yesterday, I found out they were planning a 50th birthday party for my mother. No one bothered to call me, especially since I only live three hours away, but my brother told me yesterday and I told him I was coming the weekend before since I had school that weekend.
“When did you start school?,” he asked.
“Serious, Mark,” I replied. “I started my master’s two years ago at LSU. This is my last class to graduate.”
“Oh, I guess I don’t remember you talking about it,” he answered back.
Well, what did I expect? I can honestly say that with 12 siblings, a variety of biological, half- and step-siblings, I never really felt like I connected with any of them. We have a very take-it or leave-it relationship. My parents too. I could go months without talking to them. Does it bother me, yes. But there were times when I used to call and they were always busy, so I stopped making an effort and they didn’t notice.
It’s like I explained to a close friend yesterday (who by the way, I can’t go a day without talking to or my world falls apart!)
I grew up in a large Family, the fourth and oldest girl, to be exact. There was always someone who needed my parents more than I did, so I learned at an early age to rely on myself. When we were homeschooled, I finished two years in a semester because books were my escape. Unless I was bleeding and dying or it was my turn to do dishes, no one bothered me. I was able to sit in my closet (my “safe place” as a child) and do hours of school work or reading books. I saw the world through the pages of those books. I conquered kingdoms, attended royal balls and (my favorite) hosted elaborate parties where I was the center of attention.
Some of my friends thought it was sad, the lack of relationship I had with my Family, but I didn’t miss it because I didn’t really have it. Now, the ultimate punishment would be to take my books away, but my step-mother never really figured that one out. I rarely got in trouble, but when I did I was sent to my room, where I spent days reading.
I’ve come to realize that strength and independence gained from a military life comes from so many different aspects. In addition, for everything bad there is something good. The friendships that I’ve gained far outweigh what I feel I lacked in my Family relationships. Sure, goodbyes are hard, and there will be many of them. But as Roxie, on Army Wives said, “Everyone has two families. One you are born with and one you choose. I choose all of you. Thank you for being my family."
Until our next cup of tea …

Getting through it one day at a time ...

Sometimes keeping busy to the point of falling into bed exhausted is one way to get through a deployment ... sometimes curling up on the sofa with a good book, cup of tea and favorite blanket does the trick ...

Other times, dancing around in your livingroom in your favorite silk pajamas, a glass of wine and singing to the top of your lungs until you lose your voice does the trick ... that's all I have to day on that!!!

Mistress, master or servant?

It’s funny what things you identify with when your Soldier is deployed. Songs are especially powerful during this time because your emotions are all over the place. I will admit that I have found myself identifying with some of the strangest things. A few months back some of the girls were over for dinner and we got to talking about military life and how we’d all married our husband’s after they joined the Army, which essentially made us mistresses. The song, “Stay,” by Sugarland came to mind. Listen for yourself:

“Stay,” is a song about a mistress who is always waiting for her love, but he always leaves her waiting to be with his wife.

I’ve heard it a few times and each time I did it struck a chord with me. These were the parts that particularly, stood out. “If taken out of its original context,” it could almost be a view of what I have felt as times as an Army wife.

“I'll be begging you, baby, beg you not to leave. But I'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve. What do I have to do to make you see, she can't love you like me. Why don't you stay, I'm down on my knees. I'm so tired of being lonely. Don't I give you what you need? When she calls you will go. You keep telling me, baby, there will come a time, when you will leave her arms and forever be in mine. But I don't think that's the truth. It's too much pain to have to bare, to love a man you have to share. I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?”


Not, that I would ever trade my life. I’d do anything to be with my husband … even sharing him.

I find it funny, now that I am open about sharing my thoughts at some of the random things that I think of, but then most of my friends will tell you that is normal for me. I am a deep thought kinda girl. I have so much going on in my head that sometimes it feels like it will explode and as I’ve said before, writing is the way for me to face my fears, joys, problems, etc. I love it. I’ve been doing some writing lately, but nothing that I’m ready to post here yet. Stuff I haven’t worked out yet.

This is just another one of those random “Michelle moments.” Welcome to my life! For those of you who've face a deployment before, what are some of the things that you identified with?

Until our next cup of tea …

Reflections of deployments ...

As many of you know, I work for the Military Police at our installation. I've come to make some very close friends here in the unit both before I was here and since I arrived in September. I anxiously await the return of our deployed unit, but know that it unfortunately means another will have to leave, whether one of ours or from somewhere else. It's a bittersweet cycle, while I am happy to see others reunited with their Soldier and not-so-patiently await my turn, my heart hurts for those who will have to face the seperation.

That's the nature of the beast, the life we chose, but it doesn't always make it easy. As spouses hug their Soldiers a second longer than usual and children cling their their soon-to-depart parent, I look back on the last few weeks before my husband left with fondness. Although we'd like to think we are exceptionally close to each other, I know that there were some things that changed a little as the date drew closer. I wasn't so determined to have him pick up is laundry, I was more patient when browsing in "his" stores and not so eager to leave him to find shoes or other trinkets. I think I even put more love into making dinner, knowing that those moments would so be a distant memory.

If live in the military has taught me one thing, it would be to appreciate the small things ... walking the dog, sitting on the back porch, rides in the country ... even grocery shopping. I would much rather grocery shop by myslef, it's so much faster and we don't end up with too many "extras," but when he is with me, I just remind myself how lucky I am to have him home, even if the newest movie release, two bags of Oreos or some other "I've been meaning to get this" ends up in the buggy. I just make a mental note to discourgae that behavior in our future children and move the bread so it doesn't get crushed.

Sometimes waiting is the hardest job in the military and there is no "early release for good behavior." You just take it one day at a time ... or in my case, one cup of tea at a time!

Until our next cup of tea ...

Missing him causes physical pain and that's scary ...

It's amazing how you could love someone so much that it hurt, I mean actually feel physical pain in my head and in my heart. There are days that I don't wnat to get out of bed because I know he will not be on the sofa when I walk into the livingroom. I think that my puppy feels the same way. There are mornings where I have to kick him out of bed ... and I know how he feels! Sometimes I want to sleep until they call to say he's on his way home.

Not all days are so hard ... I have some great freinds this deployment and when I stopped by to see Tommy Gunn at his office Tuesday, a former co-worker commented on how happy I look. I know how lucky I am. I have a great job, my commander's really understand my goals for the Families and they give me so much freedom. I have some great friends. The bonds you create during a time like this are preiceless and even if they don't survive the distance of so many moves, they are still precious memories. Tiffany, Brittany, Sindia and Sabrina have showed me how to enjoy life despite missing my husband. My puppy makes me laugh and my FIL is only a call away.

The hard days make the good one all that much better. Everyday is one closer to George's homecoming, I just have to take it one day at a time.

Until our next cup of tea ...