October 12, 2006

Bad day ... but others have it worse

Although not quite 9 a.m. here, it had already been a tough day for me. My neighbor brought me some paperwork on a local Soldier stationed in Alaska who was injured and is coming home. They are trying to get a Hero's welcome" from the
community. The as I was leaving for work I realized that another neighbor had decorated our side of their driveway (including our yard) with welcome home signs for her husband.
He was suppose to come
home yesterday so I made a point of being gone until dark, but they were delayed a day. Hopefully, it will all be gone when I get home. On top of it all I had to cover a welcome home ceremony for the paper, so I was in tears by the time I got to work. KG ("Guardian" angel that she is) volunteered to cover it for me. It's really hard, some days I can do it and others I can't. I just
don't think I can watch other people's husband's come home when we (unit) still have no idea about when our Soldiers will home.
I called my friend AM who is also going through the deployment. She said it makes her feel a little better when I lose my control. I understand, I am hesitant to let others see me upset, mainly because I hate to lose control and once the tears start, I have so control over when they will stop. It could be an hour or a really LONG day. She is usually more "public" when she is upset whereas I wait until I get to the comforts of my empty house.
I admit that I have it so much easier than most. I don't have to explain why daddy is not home to any children, nor am I raising a child that my husband has not yet met. My family rarely asks and his dad is always supportive, even though I'm sure he misses him as much if not more than I do. He is his father's only child, what a burden that must be.
It's hard for AM to see her six month old doing things and know that her husband is missing it. It's hard to think that she could be walking before he ever meets her. The poor thing is being raised by a group of women. She has been around men so little that she thinks they are strange and often gets scared when around them or hears them speak. On one level its funny, another sad.
I spend so much time with her children that I feel her pain. There are moments when it is hard, like when her son asks if daddy will be home for his birthday next month and others that make us laugh like when he gets mad at her and asks his dad to switch places with mommy. There are moments that I too wish CM (dad) is missing like when her 4-year-old was feeding his 6-month-old sister a bottle o when her eight-year-old types a letter to her dad for her younger brother. I guess at this age they don't realize how much they rely on each other, but hopefully years from now AM will tell them how they got through it together, despite the fights and arguments.
I guess that the best method is just taking it one day at a time ... if worse comes to worse, I'll eat a pint of ice cream and exercise later!

1 Tea Party Guest:

Tommy Gunn said...

Chin up girl. It'll all be good. Got some chocolate if you need it.