Sept. 11 remembered ....

Four years ago America was changed forever. I remember where I was the exact moment I learned the towers had been hit.
I was in the library on the computers waiting for my next class. A friend and I were e-mailing back and forth and he told me the towers had been hit by a plane. I rushed to the closest television I could find, skidding into the cadet lounge at the Sam Houston State University Military Science building just as the second plane hit.
Out of breathe and not believing what was happening I looked for a place in front of the television.
Some of the cadets already there made space for me on the sofa in front and we watched in disbelief as they replayed the video feed over and over.
I immediately began to wonder how this would affect the cadets. For them, this had a huge impact. They had joined the program during peacetime and with the events of the day, it was clear as the day wore on that and act of aggression against America would not be taken sitting down.
Others on campus would look to them as examples of what to do. Every week the cadets walked the campus in their BDUs. They were visible even when they didn't want to be, now more than ever they would be watched.
One student and friend of George and I had a sister in the area. We watched as he desperately tried to get in touch with her or a family member who had heard from her.
I talked with Lt. Col. Mooneyham, the professor of military science at the time, and Maj. Andre Dean, then the XO, about what it meant for the cadets.
The cadets themselves expressed anger and a desire to "retaliate" against those who could attack innocent people such as this.
But for the most part, all we could do was wait. Watching as those who could be reached and morning for those who were lost.
I don't think I will ever look at a pile of crumpled bricks the same as before those fateful moments when the skyline was changed forever.
As time for my class drew near, I found my professor, Dr. Ardyth Sohn, whom had supported me in my decision to focus my student articles on the military science department and cadets as well as the military units in the area they worked with on a regular basis.
She had already heard the news.
I told her I wouldn't be in class, I needed to talked to the cadets and staff to see how this changed things for them. I wanted to tell their story. Give names to those who would eventually fight the global war on terrorism.
As clear as if she had told me only a minute ago, I remember her only response ... "Share their fears and anger. This is your chance to tell their story."
I don't think at the time she knew how those words would drive me even today as I work in military public affairs.
The next few days were a blur as I talked to cadets, cadre and students who were effected. I tried not to think about the fact that George, and all of the people that I had grown close to could possibly go to war. I knew the realities of it, I just didn't want to face it.
During the day I wrote articles, and photographed training. At night I cried, worried of what the future could hold for America and the loss of so many lives.
At first the support to go to war was great, but over the past four years, it has waned. I still see the determination on the faces of the Soldiers and families I work with daily as they fight to end terrorism in the names of those we lost that day and the service members who have sacrificed their lives and families since then.
As I attend Purple Heart ceremonies, see the tears of sadness as Soldiers leave and the smiles of relief as they return, I think about Sept. 11 and the cadets who sat beside me as we watched our nation fall under attack.
It is hard to know that soon my husband will leave to fight, but I know it is a choice he made before Sept. 11, 2001. The events of that day only strengthened his resolve and that of the others in the "Bearkat Battalion."